Why be decent?

“From my grandfather Verus: decency and a mild temper.” –Meditations, Book 1, 1. Marcus Aurelius.

 

Why be decent? Is it because it’s the right thing to do, or is it to merely facilitate the everyday interactions between us evolved talking apes, to keep the diverse cogs and gears of the society well greased so that it keeps functioning without any disruption? In unfeeling, logical world, a world solely inhabited by mechanical beings perhaps decency would be redundant. But before delving in to the question of why be decent, I must have a clear idea about what it is to be decent. Not to make anyone ill at ease with behavior words or actions will serve my purpose sufficiently for the present discourse although by no means this is a robust definition as I shall shortly demonstrate. The above definition however, begs the question as to how anyone should know what it is that put others ill at ease. If we assume every person to be different then can we not assume every one has a different set of conditions that makes them ill at ease. Or does the human condition has one basic set of conditions/actions that puts the majority if not all of humanity ill at ease. If that be the case,then it becomes easier for some one trying to decide how to be decent, for it involves figuring out the conditions that makes oneself ill at ease. Then being a part of the humanity, he can be sure that a large subset of those conditions is common to the rest of the humanity. Thus he gets a solution to the problem of how to be decent, that is, he has to merely follow the rule. “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.”  

 

But alas, if the universe was only that simple. What if the set of conditions that makes Mr. X uncomfortable is not in common with the rest of the humanity? Consider Mr. X to be a masochist. Being subjected to pain makes him at ease. Will he be right to assume that the rest of the humanity will be at ease when inflicted with pain? Your answer may be no, it is only an abnormality but the only abnormality here is the normality of the prevailing majority. If the majority of humanity derived pleasure from pain then wouldn’t it be termed abnormal tonot derive pleasure from pain? As the saying goes, when in Rome do as the Romans do. The proposition of how to be decent can be reframed thusly, not to make the majority of the humanity ill at ease by one’s behavior,words or actions. Not very satisfying is it? What of those minorities whose tastes might differ? Tough luck for them. Or we might search for some objective definition of being decent. Now that is a hard thing to do. Even we are able to answer it, the question remains why be decent?

 

What do we hope to achieve by being decent, by making others at ease? It certainly facilitates our everyday interactions. Is it only that,no other higher purpose? What if a person is indecent? We can reasonably assume that society will shun him. Taken to its extreme of being indecent, that adopting a behavior that is not in concordance with the prevailing social norms leads to isolation from the society. May be it is an evolutionarily acquired trait. We act in conformity to the prevailing social norms to be accepted in to the society so that we might benefit from all that the society offers. Down to its bare bones it is nothing but food, shelter and a mate. These are but the means of propagating out gene pool. Does it have to be such banal? Doesn’t our being decent have to have a higher calling and not just the primitive impulse of propagating our genes? We may delude ourselves to think that we do, that we are decent because it is the right thing to do but it is just tiny bits of DNA pulling our strings behind the screen. Decency is a social construct, subject to variation over time. Some years back, not to long on evolutionary time scale, it was considered indecent for women to come out to work. Indeed much of what women wear today would have been deemed indecent. So much for decency then. If you do not agree with me then go ahead, try being indecent. See what that gets you.If you have risen above the impulse of propagating your gene then it wouldn’t matter to you one way or either.

 

Thus in answering the question why be decent, we come to the conclusion that we are decent because it suits us. So the next time you see some one decent, remember why he is decent no mater what he might claim. Only the truly indecent among us has risen above the impulse of propagating his gene for which he needs to be feted.